Ok, so here's the skinny; I've come to the conclusion that food can suck! (Though sometimes I just say food sucks!) I was talking with one of my family members last night, and we were discussing the foods I should eat vs. what kinds of foods I am eating right now. Apparently, cakes and pies are so bad for you that you might as well eat at McDonald's and let all that nasty burger meat slide down your throat. Not my idea for relaxing night after work. Ok, so I eat too many sweets. I know that it's not good for you, but at least I am not melting in the rain. And, yes, I do hate getting rained on, but it's for a completely different reason. Just follow this link and look at the picture, then you'll know why I hate getting rained on so much: http://www.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&tbs=isch%3A1&sa=1&q=soaked+cats%2C+pictures&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=
Yep, cats hate water!
Anyway, back to my main point. Sometimes food sucks and can be a real bitch. It's such a pain in the ass to have to figure out what kinds of foods to eat, what kinds of foods to avoid, how to prepare these foods, what time of the day one should eat, how often one should eat, what quantity one should eat, how much one should eat, plus not to mention the specifics! In all the time it takes to figure all that carp out, I could squeeze myself into a little pink tutu and practice ballet while listening to the Nutcracker. Speaking of which, food can be expensive, and the prices usually cause me to say: "They're breaking my balls!" So, yeah, Nutcracker serves as a pretty accurate description.
But like death and taxes, food is unavoidable also, unless you are one of those make-believe, undead creatures that allow authors to sell so many books and make all that money. You gotta eat something sometime, so my advice today is,
*eat whatever the hell you want--life's too short, fuck it!
*eat only whenever you're hungry--unless, of course, that is 24/7, in which case you should just attach a feeding bac around your neck!
*exercise--even if it's chasing a family member around with the baseball bat because they forgot to do the laundry (no, that is not me)
*don't deny yourself--diets are bullshit, and they don't work long-term, even if you're a fat slob, at least you're a happy fat slob because you're not on a diet
and least, but not least:
*don't let others tell you that you have to cook for them--that's the most maddening thing of all! People who tell you that they have to cook should be pointed in the direction of every fast food restaurant in town. There, they can pick their poison.
Do, even though I say all this stuff today, I might every well change my mind tomorrow. Oh well, at least you'll have some good bedtime reading tonight from your printouts, Blackberries, illiegible transctiption copies, etc. You know how fickle I can be. Well, I gotta get going now and not cook some more stuff. My pink tutu is calling me from the closet. And I'm out...
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