Needed Food and Stuff (Tuesday, August 31, 2010)

Well, it's official. I've been able to go two months without cooking! *cheers and applause* Thank you, thank you, but I still have a ways to go. Had to go stupid-ass food shopping, but at least I got to buy a bunch of crap that I will not have to cook. I know that it is not healthy sometimes, but it tastes soooo good!! I'm not naming any specifics here, but those of you who know me well enough know what kinds of foods I eat and what kinds I tend to avoid. Always tempted to look at books when I go shopping , and it's hard not being able to buy all the ones that I want! But everyone knows that's a good thing because I have too many to read as it is ;P

Blah! (Monday, August 30, 2010)

Not eating is easy when things get on your nerves! I should know. I don't want to bitch about my books not cooperating with me here, so I will spare you all those details. Just shoved my mouth full of more HotPockets and tried to pretend that I do not have to go to go to work tomorrow. Oh well, at least I didn't have to cook anything today. :)

Arby's is Good! (Sunday, August 29, 2010)

Am I allowed to use the name of a fast food restaurant in my title? Oh well, too late. Anyway, found another local ARby's restaurant near a truck stop, so we decided to go there and order some food on which to chow down. We didn't really want to go out, yet I certainly was not going to cook! Unfortunately though, we are running our of food, and that means we have to go the the damn vrocery store soon. Oh well, at the store may have that special edition of Rolling Stone magazine with a feature on The Beatles. That would be a worthy investment.

Anyway, was teasing my husband about food. I asked him if he wanted me to buy the ingredients for meatloaf so I could make it for him. If it was any other normal day before (or after, maybe) that I started this blog, he would have answered: "Yes, please!" But he saw through my trick and knew, at once, that I was only pulling his leg. Boy, talk about how hard it to tease someone nowadays!

Movie Night! (Saturday, August 29, 2010)

Watched some of our great movies tonight! HotPockets are always a good fix for that. Decided that we did not need to go out and eat tonight because we might want to save it for the holiday weekend next week. Looking forward to more greatness next week!

Movies and Such (Friday, August 28, 2010)

Had some more oven pizza and junk today. My husband knew to cook for me because I had to get up and go to various appointments. Even though I want to talk about not cooking, stuff, I am running otu of ideas. Instead, I am going to talk about what new movies my husband and I are excited about taping on our DVR: The Time Traveler's Wife, Shallow Hal, Madagascar 2, Thinner, some Lewis Black comedy special and some others. Some of them are slated for recording tomorrow night...

Work Sucks (Thursday, August 26, 2010)

Made my husband make me some macaroni & cheese for dinner tonight because people got on my nerves big time, and I was glad to come home. Hoping people will see me as a a writer someday and not a buffoon or comic relief, (unless I intend for them to find me funny). I should have had some nice alcohol to go with my food, but I don't think mac & cheese would go good with wine. Kinda opposite balances on the pH scale, kinda nasty. Anyway, then people piss me off, it's best to not eve think about cooking, let alone trying it.

Hot Pockets are Good! (Wednesday, August 25, 2010)

Ok, I will admit it. People got on my nerves tonight, and I did not want to eat anything that was healthy, so I dug into my Hot Pockets and settled into The Obama Diaries. I'm a liberal, but both my husband and I were curious about the book. But I'm not here to state my beliefs, I;m here to state how I am not cooking stuff for the next ten months because cooking sucks.

PIZZA MONSTER! (Tuesday, August 24, 2010)

Decided to say "Fuck it!" and get a pizza tonight! Papa John's is always a favorite. It's good to splurge on your favorite foods as long as you aren't ready to puke after you've ingested them. Not having to cook pizza is definitely NOT going to make me sick of eating it!

Relaxing (Monday, August 23, 2010)

Blood sugar is still looking good. Had fun not cooking anything tonight as I dined on Hot Pockets and other such snack-like foods. But, most of all, I had fun NOT having to do anything with my books tonight. Just read more of To Kill a Mockingbird and played my Pokemon video game. Glad that we managed to clean the place without having to work too hard. Too much work, whether it has to dow ith cooking or not, cannot be good for you! ;)

Hollywood Nights (Friday, August 20, 2010)

Great song. I've had it stuck in my head since last night when we watched Rock Show on our digital music TV channel. This has nothing to do whatsoever with the rest of this blog. More pizza oven fun before a night at the home movies. (No, I don't mean home movies as in 8mm vidoes of when we grew up, Yeah, I'm old.) Need to keep on stressing the importance of me not cooking, especially as the holidays approach. At least no one's nagging me to cook for any holiday meals or hold them at our house. Don't get me wrong, I love family gatherings. It's great that my husband has a lot of family members but I am not a fan of cooking for two people let alone sixteen! It's a good thing some other people in the family love to cook. I would just tell them: "Have at it!"

Oh, I just had my usual fruit and snacks and pizza today. Nothing out of the ordinary. I'll let you know when I start losing weight.

Walkies (Thursday, August 29, 2010)

Had a nice walk today after work to let off some steam. I totally did not cook some food for me for dinner. Instead, I feasted on the remnants that were lying around the house. Have to do more food shopping soon, *groan* and during all this construction too. Not cooking is nothing is just a given because shopping and construction are a pain in the ass all themselves. And I will be nice and say that my husband does not have to cook during this time either. :)

Tired (Wednesday, August 18, 2010)

Limited food consumption started today at lunch because the apple I bit into was rotten! I just bought the damn bag not so long ago! Fruits should last a hell of a lot longer than they do! Anyway, had a big bowl of ice cream after I was done for the night with my books. Pretty soon, most of the junk we have in the house will be gone (though there is some crap that he will eat, and I won't, but that doens't count for me!) Keep you ups with my hopefully soon weight loss as well as my not cooking stuff...

Are Food and Books the Same? (Tuesday, August 17, 2010)

God, I hope not. In that case, I would weight well over 900 lbs with the way I read sometimes!! Well, back to work. I had a great day, but I got exasperated last night because I could not finish my book. (See other blog.) But, soon, I will have that part done, and I will not have to bitch about going back through "all those damn poetry books." Well, anyway, I should go back to not cooking and stuff. Hot Pockets count as no cooking, right? I mean, between before I went back to my room to enjoy a good book, I had me two pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets, and all was right with the world. It's also good that I'm cutting down on the sweets. Good thing I don't really know how to bake. That kind of knowledge would be very dangerous in our house!!

Goodbye Shitty Metabolism! (Monday, August 16, 2010)

Good day today! Went to the endrocronologist, and he is a very nice man. He said that I definitely have hypothyroidism, so I am not just a fat pig due to stuffing my face, it's partially due to the fault of my stupid hormones. Well, we are going to fix that shit very soon! He told me not to worry about my cholesterol because that would go down with weight loss. Now, I am taking double dosage of my thyroid pills and waiting, patiently, for the changes to kick in! I also gotta keep an eye on my blood sugar because I do not want diabetes! But, first, I have to figure out the damn machine!

As for not cooking, we totally did not cook a Papa John's pizza for dinner that night. I figured. What the hell? But I gotta remember that these pills are not powerful little wonder drugs to keep any weight off that's supposed to be mounted to my body. I need good food and exercise for this to really kick in. Plus, not cooking is totally going to help me lose some excess weight!

You Never Get Sick of Oven Pizza when You Don't Have to Cook it (Sunday, August 15, 2010)

Enough said. Besides, it's good for my husband to consistently cook pizzas in the oven for us. This is all I feel like saying right now.

Movie Time (Saturday, August 14, 2010)

Never drive in torrential rain. That's all I have to say. Getting to the theater to see Scott Pilgrim VS the World was a scary experience. Maybe we should have gone to see Dinner for Schmucks, then it wouldn't have rained? Anyway, after all that hubbub, we went out to our favorite steak house and chowed down on our usual food. Would have had more when we got home that night, but I nearly fell asleep not too long into another movie. Food is great when you don't have to cook, but it is lousy when you ar trying to sleep.

Weekend Time (Friday, August 13, 2010)

Just had a quiet day with nothing out of the ordinary lazy movie night and no cooking for me. I'm glad that it's weekend time. More not cooking for me!

Alarm Clocks Suck (August 12, 2010)

Well, at least I didn't have to "cook" any breakfast for myself because my fucking alarm clock woke me up late. Piece of shit! Well, I had to hurry up and get dressed and fly out of the houe like a bat out of hell! And, of course, there is all this construction around my plan that prevents me from taking the convenient way home from work. So, I had to go all these backroads and stuff to get to home and work. Then, I had to see how many more books I could get done. I didn't get to eat very much today. (Oh well, maybe that is a good thing.) I guess in order to not cook sometime, one has to not eat. If my fast ass loses weight from this whole thing, then I guess it will be worth it!

Other People Should Cook for Me (Wednesday, August 11, 2010)

Other people should have the privilege of cooking for me when I come home late and have to go on computer to revise my books. It's not too much to ask, just a little, small meal that would be quick to eat and not make a mess in the computer room.

Tired and Stuff (Tuesday, August 10, 2010)

After a long and tiring day of work, my hubby and I just had some more of our beloved pizza and watched movies together. Too hot to take a walk outside, but that's ok, because I was too tired anyway. Tried not to pig out, but had some more of my favorite junk. Then, later on, played video games for several hours (as Strongbad so articulately mentioned in one of his e-mails). One half of me wants to get off the junk food, and the other half doesn't. It will be interesting to see if my mind and body try to fight over this issue when the time comes. For now, I am eating whatever the hell I want and not cooking!

Guess What, It's Monday (Monday, August 9, 2010)

Well, aside from the fact that I am nearly halfway through two months through my little project, nothing has changed from yesterday. Ate less today because I was busy revising my books and not cooking.

Nothing Exciting (Sunday, August 8, 2010)

Had some macaroni & cheese before we went food shopping today. It was good, but not as good (for me) as some of the other things I bought. Got some Greek yogurt and Fiber Plus granola bars. That might help my craving a little. We'll see.

Fast Food :p (Saturday, August 7, 2010)

Had some Arby's for dinner tonight. Since we had coupons this time, we decided it was worth it. The food was good, and they almost actually got our order right this time. The only reason why I say "almost" is because they put some nasty, orange sauce on the bottom bun of the sandwich. I almost just tried to take the bottom bun and throw it away, but I decided it was not worth the effort and ate the roast beef sandwiches anyway. (Man, and people wonder why I don't like fast food.) Tried to control my pigging out tonight, and I guess that worked ok. Just gotta remember that the same crap that makes me feel good for a moment is not worth feeling like shit for the rest of the day. Just something to think about...

Don't Listen to What I Said Yesterday (Friday, August 6, 2010)

Ok, so now I am a little freaked out because I had chest pains last night. Really, it was a sharp pain underneath my left breast, right where my heart is. I think God was telling me to lighten up on the junk food. I will, but, unfortunatly, it is so hard. Still had some good old junk today, but nowhere near the volume it reached last night! I guess I just get hungry too much. I could drink a lot more water, but that makes me have to pee too damn much. Really, shouldn't water just sit anad wait to go out, just like anything that's not very good for you t o drink? Oh well, now I'm just rambling. Very relieved to be all right. Keep not cooking, food believers!

Treasured Food Advice to be Kept on Your Nightstand! (Thursday, August 5, 2010)

Ok, so here's the skinny; I've come to the conclusion that food can suck! (Though sometimes I just say food sucks!) I was talking with one of my family members last night, and we were discussing the foods I should eat vs. what kinds of foods I am eating right now. Apparently, cakes and pies are so bad for you that you might as well eat at McDonald's and let all that nasty burger meat slide down your throat. Not my idea for relaxing night after work. Ok, so I eat too many sweets. I know that it's not good for you, but at least I am not melting in the rain. And, yes, I do hate getting rained on, but it's for a completely different reason. Just follow this link and look at the picture, then you'll know why I hate getting rained on so much: http://www.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&tbs=isch%3A1&sa=1&q=soaked+cats%2C+pictures&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

Yep, cats hate water!

Anyway, back to my main point. Sometimes food sucks and can be a real bitch. It's such a pain in the ass to have to figure out what kinds of foods to eat, what kinds of foods to avoid, how to prepare these foods, what time of the day one should eat, how often one should eat, what quantity one should eat, how much one should eat, plus not to mention the specifics! In all the time it takes to figure all that carp out, I could squeeze myself into a little pink tutu and practice ballet while listening to the Nutcracker. Speaking of which, food can be expensive, and the prices usually cause me to say: "They're breaking my balls!" So, yeah, Nutcracker serves as a pretty accurate description.

But like death and taxes, food is unavoidable also, unless you are one of those make-believe, undead creatures that allow authors to sell so many books and make all that money. You gotta eat something sometime, so my advice today is,

*eat whatever the hell you want--life's too short, fuck it!

*eat only whenever you're hungry--unless, of course, that is 24/7, in which case you should just attach a feeding bac around your neck!

*exercise--even if it's chasing a family member around with the baseball bat because they forgot to do the laundry (no, that is not me)

*don't deny yourself--diets are bullshit, and they don't work long-term, even if you're a fat slob, at least you're a happy fat slob because you're not on a diet

and least, but not least:

*don't let others tell you that you have to cook for them--that's the most maddening thing of all! People who tell you that they have to cook should be pointed in the direction of every fast food restaurant in town. There, they can pick their poison.

Do, even though I say all this stuff today, I might every well change my mind tomorrow. Oh well, at least you'll have some good bedtime reading tonight from your printouts, Blackberries, illiegible transctiption copies, etc. You know how fickle I can be. Well, I gotta get going now and not cook some more stuff. My pink tutu is calling me from the closet. And I'm out...

Hot and Sweet (August 4, 2010)

No, I just did not describe myself when I was at my prime a few years ago. although I wish I fit that description all the time. :) Got a little sick late last night (though it may be something related to the color red, not Commies, rather than food. Regardless, had two stalks of celery to stabalize myself. Ate more junk today but kept it a little less in abundance. Not cooking is fun, and junk food tastes great, but it's not worth it if it zaps your energy.

Food + Movies = Good Combination (Tuesday, August 3, 2010)

But I'm not just talkign about the whole popcorn soda deal. Those of you who know me know that I don't like plain popcorn, and I plain detest soda. I'm talking about a bunch of other crap that I have no business eating if I want to lose weight, but whatever. I'll worry about that after I go see the doctor in a few weeks. I'm a hyperactive person, and even though I eat crap, I should at least lose a little weight. I mean, I do get some exercise, even if it's only reverse stomach crunches and the occasional sit-up on my exercise ball.

My husband got us Kick-Ass on DVD today, so we got to watch that and Marley and Me. (I know, what a weird combination.) By the way, when you can't get a hold of pizza, Hot Pockets are a good substutite. (Hey! Don't try to say that I am contradicting myself here. Throwing food in the microwave and nuking it does NOT count as cooking!) But throwing shit in an oven and baking it for an hour or two does. Hmmm... I never thought about that before, but the microwave still does not count because it only takes a few seconds or minutes at the most. So there! :p But, seriously, not cooking stuff, combined with the cinema effect, makes all your not effort feel even better!

Good Eats (Monday, August 2, 2010)

I'm talking about me, not the TV show, starring Alton Brown, on the Food Network. Had a better day today because I did not pump as much junk into my system as I could. Man, it feels great not to have to cook, and it can only get better with every month. Hubby does not seem to mind all this pizza (though we did not have it tonight). And people are starting to know better than to ask me the infamous question (you know the one) on a multiple daily basis. This just goes to show that I did not let their barrage of hot air get to me because I am an individual who gets to make her own choices! If you have the same problem as I did, you can either a) get some earplugs or b) do what I did and just tune everything out. I mean, that's what I do every day when people ask me stupid questions about food that I refuse to cook!

Hangovers Suck (Sunday, August 1, 2010)

Well, congratulate me. I managed to go a whole month without cooking stuff! I would go out and get some alcohol to celebrate, but I have to work tomorrow, and I'm sure work really sucks with a hangover! (Besides, if you've ever seen the movie The Hangover, you know that you can really get into some weird shit when you're drunk!) Well, I gotta go eatch movies and continue to not cook stuff well into the movie.